Imagine a Fall, chilly, Wednesday morning at about 6:50 am. You begin to walk to your car, but an impatient flashing orange figurine interrupts your stroll, reminding you to hustle before you miss your chance to catch the light. In front of you the orange figure continues to blink rapidly, now accompanied with a 15, 14, 13,12… countdown, but you never make it to the other side of the crosswalk. At this very moment, what you do not know is that there is a 4000 pound vehicle racing down the street trying to catch that same light. 10, 9, 8… You hear ***Skkkkrtt*** car zooms around the corner. For a brief moment the phrase “Deer in headlights” becomes your entire existence. 7,6,5…. Bright white lights flash in front of you 4, 3, 2….**hands fly up** you scream as if it were your last chance “Waaaaaiiiit stop!!!”. 1…***BOOM***As your body ascends to the air, gravity quickly reminds you “who’s boss” ***BAM***You slam to the ground.
You know it’s true when they say your life flashes before your eyes. As I laid on the cold concrete sooooooo many thoughts flooded my consciousness. In those few moments so many what ifs, regrets, happy memories and wants began to take over; it was as if I was stuck in a trans and clips of my life were on an endless cycle.
“Miss… miss are you ok?!?! Are you ok? Can you hear me?! Oh my God, what have I done?!” a frantic man’s voice pierces my ear. I open my eyes realizing I’m alive. “Oh Thank God! I am so sorry, are you ok? Are you hurt? Can you get up?” the man says. I try to speak but the words can’t leave my lips at the moment, tears begin to weld up and in one blink a stream starts to flow. I can feel everything around me, the cold moist concrete, my belt buckle piercing into my side, and then an unbearable pain begins to emerge.
Finally, words form: “My knee, my knee, I have to go to work…. My knee…” I continue to repeat these words as if I were an old broken vinyl record. In the background I hear a woman making the infamous 911 call… “911 yes! There’s a woman who was hit...“I close my eyes, the woman’s voice begins to fade; everything around me becomes white noise. Images of my life begin to reappear, questions continued to consume my mind… Had I done enough? Did I leave a mark on this world? Have I fulfilled my purpose? What legacy will I leave behind? Who have I helped? From a distance my thoughts are overshadowed by the sounds of the speeding ambulance coming to my rescue.
“One, two, three…. lift” the EMS worker’s voice strains as they lift me off the ground. Anxiety begins to build, the regrets become unbearable, for the next few hours the rest of the process becomes a blur.
That was November 1st, 2017… although parts of that day are still a blur, one thing I remember is by the end of that 12 minute ambulance ride with tears in my eyes, I declared a NEW me. No longer would I let the fears of the unknown guide my path; no longer would I let the trapped demons of my past rule over my future. I was given a second chance to fulfill my purpose and now my true life has begun.
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