The First Time I Cheated….

 They say once a cheater, always a cheater… Well I cheated on my ex boyfriend one day, and I never been the same….

So there was a time which seems oh so long ago…. To be honest, I don’t even know who that person is anymore; the things that girl used to do just to appease others. Tuh, if I could turn back the hands of time! Anywho, I was with someone I cared about, but it’s safe to say it never felt right. **Lets just say, we’ll save that story for another day** From gut feelings to the evidence plain in sight, I ignored every single sign sent my way that told me I needed to let that man go! Until one day it all changed.

It was the first time I did the unexpected. I think it was the day I discovered Chasing Carlii…. I cheated that day…. and to be honest it felt amazing!!  I was liberated and there was no turning back. So many thoughts began to build, it was as if my mind was a volcano ready to erupt! “How couldn’t I have tried this before Was this what I needed all this time? “ Wow and then my phone went off…. it was him… “Should I pick up? Or should I ignore him?“ For once I was doing what I wanted without any repercussions. So I sent him to voicemail…

I know you’re all probably wondering about the steamy details. The Who, when’s, where’s and whys. It was a quiet space, the room was lightly dimmed, laying on my stomach, sprawled out on the floor. What started off as a simple thought, manifested into something else. You know how that story goes, “it sorta just happened”.  I know what you’re probably thinking, man this is crazy, didn’t know Carlii gave it up like that, but this time I had to. See I couldn’t take settling for mediocre anymore, couldn’t bare compromising myself. Too much had been loss by this point and I was ready to risk it all.

I cheated for the first time that day, opened up the pages to my diary and poured my soul. I needed a plan to break free. I had finally listened, finally started to see my worth, finally started to see that not everyone was for me. I cheated that day and it was one of the most intimate experiences I’ve encountered. I cheated that day and I fell in love with me.

See I was the one this whole time. For once I put myself first and did what made me happy. I cheated that day, and never looked back after. And just like all cheaters you get caught! My ex started noticing me act different; I walked different; I spoke different. Eventually that ended, though hurt and confused I continued to chase this new found love. A confidence had emerged and there was no taming this beast. I loved myself, I finally loved myself for once and no one could ever stop this love affair.

I cheated on my ex boyfriend one day, and I discovered a love like no other.  I was so infatuated by this new found feeling. This new lover of mine was a perfect fit. This person was so open-minded, I had a thrill for adventure; a new taste for freedom. No longer carrying the burdens of those around me, this time I was putting myself first! For once in my life I looked in the mirror and I was happy with the woman in the reflection. Although not completely whole, I knew that was the day my life would change for ever. 

Now my new dude? He’s the definition of perfection. He understands that to be my partner, there’s an open relationship with me, myself and I. He doesn’t try to control me or make me conform to societal norms. He loves that I cheated with myself and supports this daily love affair; fulfilling my own needs before I can cater to his.  You see, cause he knows  in order for me to love him fully, I have to find me. In order for me to love him fully, I have to love me. 


I cheated with myself that day, and I have no regrets….

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Travel Essentials #GottaHaveIt

It’s no secret that one of the most nerve wrecking things to go through is getting ready to prepare for a vacation. What to take? What not to take? Should you check in your luggage? Or do you dare just take a carry on? As I sit here in Shanghai, China for my connecting flight, my mind tosses as I try to figure out if I’ve taken care of all my essentials!
Top Ten Travel Essentials:
1. Travel Documents– Make sure all forms of identification are up to date; local flights: Drivers license accepted International flights: valid Passport/VISA. Make sure your flight information has also been updated, sometimes airlines make changes at the last minute, i.e departure/arrival time change, terminal change etc. if you take medication have a subscription ready just in case.
2. Travel Light– I took a 10 day trip and only traveled with a carry on suitcase and backpack; all under 15 lbs-20 lbs depending on the airline. If you choose to get a lock, make sure its TSA approved! Bring items that you can switch up and rearrange (ladies: dresses, a pants here, top there Fellas: it becomes tricky for you with all those jeans and shoes you have) remember, it’s your vacation not PARIS FASHION WEEK. Another investment might be suitcase organizers.  The truth is, why pay the baggage claim fees for clothes you won’t even use while you’re there.
3. Toiletries– Besides packing your clothes, toiletries should be a top priority. Depending on your destination you may some specialty items but here’s a list of the basic:
***Note if traveling with carry-on all liquid items must be 3oz. or BELOW, if checking baggage there is no ounce limit***
Toothbrush/Toothpaste/Floss
Body Soap
Deodorant
Razor/ Shaving cream
Hair Products (both men and women #BeardGang)
Lip Balm
Mini First Aid Kit
Make-Up (under 3oz)
Sunscreen lotion (YES! Even if your melanin is popping, the sun BURNS US TOO)
**Feminine products (even if it’s not that time of the month… ya never know… international products are NOT the same as US)
Bath slippers (eww don’t be walking around the hotel/rental spaces with your bare feet! Heard of fungi?)
5. Research– you don’t have to become some sort of geographical archeologist and find the entire history of the country, but one should definitely look up potential weather conditions during your travel time frame , tradition/customs and certain laws. Unlike America, some countries are not as lax when it comes to tradition and respect. For example, when I visited Morocco, Africa I did not know it was disrespectful to eat with your left hand until the server slapped my hand as I reached for my sandwich; although a light friendly tap I felt so bad for offending their culture. Another example is the lack of freedom of speech in certain places. In 2016, like America, the people of Thailand pronounced its new leader, King … unlike American is unlawful for anyone to speak negatively about the King and those is high leadership; if caught one will be fined and penalized…. clearly they haven’t heard what Americans say about number 45.
6. Portable Chargers: Another item where you’ll thank me later! Portable battery chargers are literally life savers… get it? Battery life? Saver? (LOL I know I’m corny) One of the most annoying things is to have to look for a compatible outlet when you’re in a different country, now I just pull out my portable charger. Make sure to charge it fully before the journey so it lasts. Most will be able to fully charger your smartphone at 5 times and my laptop! Talk about #POWER I personally use RAVPower External Battery and I looooooooooooove it!!!!
7. Universal Converter Adapter– if traveling overseas it’s important to get the run down on what type of voltage that country uses. Even if you don’t travel very often, it still helps when the time comes. A suggestion is to get an universal adapter click on the link to see where I got mine.
8. Time Management– often times we get so caught up in planning every minute and second of our vacation that we forget to block out time for ourselves. I’ve fallen victim to this soooo many times; getting so caught up in the motions of vacationing but it just turns into another laundry list to do. Spare yourself the agony of planning too much! No matter where I go I always try to block out, depending on how long the vacation is, at least 5hrs to 24 hrs where I do nothing but stay in the hotel/rental watch TV, visit the pool/fitness center, put on some music and simply RELAX! Why, you may ask? It’s simple, sometimes we need to force ourselves to take a mental break. Letting go of our troubles, simply living in the moment.
9. Snacks– #Fun Fact, you can bring food on a flight/ airport except beverages…. So what? Well 1, airport food is SUPER EXPENSIVE, I paid $2.54 for a CAN of ginger ale (not even the bottle). 2, if you’re a picky eater like myself then I suggest you pack a few snacks for the trip! Especially if traveling internationally, you’ll thank me later
10. Writing Utensils/ Translator Dictionary- ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS bring pen and paper. Believe me, you don’t want to be that person on the flight waiting to borrow someone else’s pen while they fill out papers for them AND their family members.  
Although we live in an age where technology rules everything, sometimes you may travel to such a remote place that your service is too poor to get on the internet to use google translate. A suggestion is to learn basic greeting phrases.
**Bonus** ALWAYS find out where the US Embassy is!!! Yes you’ll be safe but you should always be prepared!
Until next time…….
#ChasingCarlii #TravelJunkie #WanderlustSoul
#Travel

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Birth of a New me….

Imagine a Fall, chilly, Wednesday morning at about 6:50 am.  You begin to walk to your car, but an impatient flashing orange figurine interrupts your stroll, reminding you to hustle before you miss your chance to catch the light.   In front of you the orange figure continues to blink rapidly, now accompanied with a 15, 14, 13,12… countdown, but you never make it to the other side of the crosswalk. At this very moment, what you do not know is that there is a 4000 pound vehicle racing down the street trying to catch that same light. 10, 9, 8… You hear ***Skkkkrtt*** car zooms around the corner. For a brief moment the phrase “Deer in headlights” becomes your entire existence.  7,6,5…. Bright white lights flash in front of you  4, 3, 2….**hands fly up** you scream as if it were your last chance “Waaaaaiiiit stop!!!”. 1…***BOOM***As your body ascends to the air, gravity quickly reminds you “who’s boss” ***BAM***You slam to the ground.

You know it’s true when they say your life flashes before your eyes. As I laid on the cold concrete sooooooo many thoughts flooded my consciousness. In those few moments so many what ifs, regrets, happy memories and wants began to take over; it was as if I was stuck in a trans and clips of my life were on an endless cycle.

“Miss… miss are you ok?!?! Are you ok? Can you hear me?! Oh my God, what have I done?!” a frantic man’s voice pierces my ear. I open my eyes realizing I’m alive. “Oh Thank God! I am so sorry, are you ok? Are you hurt? Can you get up?” the man says. I try to speak but the words can’t leave my lips at the moment, tears begin to weld up and in one blink a stream starts to flow. I can feel everything around me, the cold moist concrete, my belt buckle piercing into my side, and then an unbearable pain begins to emerge.

Finally, words form: “My knee, my knee, I have to go to work…. My knee…” I continue to repeat these words as if I were an old broken vinyl record. In the background I hear a woman making the infamous 911 call… “911 yes! There’s a woman who was hit...“I close my eyes, the woman’s voice begins to fade; everything around me becomes white noise. Images of my life begin to reappear, questions continued to consume my mind… Had I done enough? Did I leave a mark on this world? Have I fulfilled my purpose? What legacy will I leave behind? Who have I helped? From a distance my thoughts are overshadowed by the sounds of the speeding ambulance coming to my rescue.

“One, two, three…. lift” the EMS worker’s voice strains as they lift me off the ground. Anxiety begins to build, the regrets become unbearable, for the next few hours the rest of the process becomes a blur.

That was November 1st, 2017… although parts of that day are still a blur, one thing I remember is by the end of that 12 minute ambulance ride with tears in my eyes, I declared a NEW me. No longer would I let the fears of the unknown guide my path; no longer would I let the trapped demons of my past rule over my future. I was given a second chance to fulfill my purpose and now my true life has begun.

#ChasingCarlii

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